Forgiving Infidelity – The Hardest Part?

Forgiving infidelity sounds like it can be the most difficult thing in the world. The hurt of an affair, the loss of trust, the betrayal of the love you swore to each other and the feeling that you will never be able to trust this person again all conspire to leave this act of cheating a festering wound in your relationship that can poison your marriage and lead to divorce.

To forgive infidelity however is possible, but it is not something you can do like switching a light on or off. It takes time and it is different for everyone because every affair is different and everyone has different ways of working towards the psychological stage of forgiveness which is when you do not forget, but it is no longer negatively influencing your life .. or your marriage.

I would say that forgiveness IS the hardest part of marriage after infidelity as m,any couples can rebuild a marriage and even learn to love and trust again but many people can never fully learn to forgive so whenever an argument breaks out (as often happens in any marriage!) th first fallback position is to bring up the affair again.

This is not healthy nor is it constructive so tackling the forgiveness issue needs to be done no matter how hard it seems.

This can only be done by having a keen understanding of the affair, knowing exactly why your spouse cheated on you which is painful to hear but it like piercing a festering wound so that the healing can take place.

Then it comes down to communication and dedicated time to solving issues raised from that painful conversation. Gently you can work your way back to a loving, trusting relationship because you know the reasons behind the affair can be fixed and because your relationship had been laid open and bare before each other and god … the ultimate in forgiveness.

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