Comments on: Saving Marriage After Infidelity – 2 Tips to Rebuild Trust

By: George Fellows

George Fellows — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 06:18:21 +0000

Hi Lhors,

Thank you forthe kind words. I wish you the best of luck with your husband & marriage. God bless you

By: Lhors

Lhors — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:56:20 +0000

Hi George,

I’ve learned a lot on this site, Thanks. Honestly,I’m in the process of healing and rebuilding my trust to my husband and I could say that it takes time to do it. I know everything in this world will be alright in God’s perfect time.

I’ll recommend this site to others through my blog. God bless(^_~)

By: George Fellows

George Fellows — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 08:31:49 +0000

Very well said Kosarkarka.

By: Kosarkarka10

Kosarkarka10 — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 05:52:45 +0000

There is not one person on the Earth that has never made a mistake in his/her life… we need to Forgive to be Forgiven. People make mistakes and learn from them. When a person asks for forgiveness, you should forgive them, because one day you might be the one that is asking for the same thing. In this particular issue, Infidelity in Marriages, it is hard to make smart decisions when it comes to forgiving such an act. It is true that it might be forgiven but it will never be forgotten…but the key of a saving your marriage after infidelity is not to let the issue bother you for the rest of your life. For example, I have a friend that his spouse was cheating on him, but his love for her helped him to forgive her for what she had done to him, but it did not work out well on the end. The reason for their separation was, even though his spouse tried her best to change and prove to him that she had changed, he would always go back to the time when she was cheating on him and fill himself with anger and bad thoughts whenever she was not at home. This led to a separation. If a person truly wants to save his/or marriage after infidelity, the solution is not only just to say that you forgive that person and not to leave him/her, but to communicate with your partner and find out the reasons why he/she committed the act in order to save something you have already built with that person.

By: George Fellows

George Fellows — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 08:26:28 +0000

Hi Saddenned,

This is a difficult place to be that is for sure. Your husband has a core of resentment in his being that can only be removed when he learns to forgive. This is not much help for you though as HE needs to take these actions.

That being said you can help these things along, the walking out of the room and retaliating is exactly what he wants as it fuels his sense of self righteousness. One thing to defuse these little confrontations is to let these things wash over you and take the barrage without getting angry or defensive – but also without breaking down.

In most situations the attacks will stop pretty quick when they realise they are not having the desired impact. From there you can talk about things more calmly.

As always I recommend Franks e-book which explains things in ways that I simply cannot in this space or with my more limited knowledge.

Forgiveness can be achieved but I will not lie and say it is quick and easy – it does take time and effort but if you know how to control yourself and the situation you will take steps towards the happier life you want.

Kind Regards,
George

By: saddenned

saddenned — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 05:58:18 +0000

Hi George,

I am so remorseful for my shameful actions. After twelve months my husband brings it up if he feels unhappy about something that I have done, and I am trying to be patient, but i can’t help but walk out of the room when he tells me what a low life I am. I am trying to save the marriage but am having trouble doing so on my own and also being contionually punished when i am trying to self improve. What can i do to show my husband how sincere I am? I don’t want the marriage to end.

By: George Fellows

George Fellows — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:31:40 +0000

Hi az,

I think it can – though abviously it is going to be even more difficult if your partner is still involved. They migth be even more defensive or aggressive.

However the virtues of patience, emotional control and a sincere willignness to understand why they are doing this to find a way back – yes these are things that can be applied still.

Check out Dr Frank Gunzburgs book i recommend here if you want to know moe as it is a deleicate situation and he does cover this in more detail.

By: az

az — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:29:01 +0000

can this advise still be used if the affair is still happening albeit at a much lower intensity?

By: MYRNa joseph

MYRNa joseph — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 06:49:27 +0000

please this will give me advice in my marriage and in the communicating process it take to speak in confidence thank god for this .